Are you living at the pace of dissatisfaction?

All mammals are designed for pleasure. The sensations of pleasure are here to inform you that you are on the “right” track. It’s a reflection from your nervous system that your body likes the choices you are making.

I’m not talking about intimate pleasure. I mean being able to feel the satisfaction of eating just the right food, in the right amount, with the right people. The pregnant pause that comes when you find just the right moment of connection, where that experience of aloneness fully fades away. Being soft and present enough to the cool breeze making the hairs on your body stand up. Being slow and permissioned enough to relish in the beauty in front of you, and letting it fill you up without having to navigate feelings of shame or a pressure to be more productive. 

If you solely live with the idea in your brain that the choices you are making are the right one, you are missing the multidimensionality of life.

Living in grayscale was okay 40+ years ago, but it’s not the thriving that is actually possible today. 

Most of my clients show up with an upper threshold on goodness. For everyone I know, this threshold was set up for them. Set up by the limits of their mother’s body to experience wellness. Set up by what their father could allow to move through his body. Set up by the messages from culture about how much aliveness and wellness was safe and accepted.

If I lived with the thresholds handed down to me by my immigrant parents, school teachers, and the U.S. culture, I would be depressed as F**K. And I couldn’t do better until I looked at my limits and why they were there.

It’s our survival strategies that keep us from living at the pace of satisfaction. Full Stop.

Your mother survived the threat from unconscious men by hiding her aliveness deep within (and it’s sadly still happening all around us). Your father learned to keep his joy hidden since he was a young boy because he would get shut down by HIS father and his peers for being bigger and better.

The reasons are specific, nuanced, and unique to your family… and this uniqueness is essential to uncover.

My freedom to be me and as alive as I am today came from being with people who sat with me to learn what my unique way of shutting down was. What was my unique way of staying fast and avoiding the feelings that came when I slowed down? 

There are patterns to our survival strategies AND the you in there that is unconsciously holding a survival strategy in place needs attention.

Our social culture, our corporate culture, our media culture, our devices and screens and movies keep us entertained and distracted so we don’t have to be with what is underneath. 

I’m sick of accepting this as the status quo. Pretending that this is okay. It’s not the world I want to create and be a part of. 

The feelings you feel when you slow down MATTER.  The feelings you feel when you are alone are IMPORTANT. The feelings you feel when you stop moving are a clue to calling you deeper...

They need ATTENTION. They need LOVE. They need a space to be felt.

They are there for a really good reason. But, most of us have forgotten or never consciously understood the context of why they are there.

Avoiding those feelings is running the show, and so are our inherited survival strategies are as well, and most of us don’t even know where they come from. why they are there.

Freedom comes from unburdening. Freedom comes from loving what wasn’t loved. Freedom comes from self-understanding and compassion for what your parents and ancestors did to survive. And freedom comes from getting that you are not them, and you are not living their lives and you no longer have to be like them to belong. 

You get to be you. You, today, in the context of safety, get to thrive. And you get to feel pleasure.

And you get to move at the pace of life that fills you with the nourishing goodness that your body is capable of producing when it isn’t carrying the burden of the unintegrated past.

It’s your birthright to be free.

Everyone wants it, but most are scared to claim it and do the work it takes to get there.

The rewards of pleasure and peace are there waiting for you all along the way.

Claim your whole self and live at the pace of your satisfaction.

Consider working with me to unlock YOUR freedom and YOUR aliveness.